Do Yourself a favour

25 May

“Never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn”

~ Harriet Beecher Stow

A poor, hungry young man sat moping on a bridge, watching a group of fishermen.  Looking into a basket and seeing a bunch of fish nearby, the young man said, “Boy, if I had a mess of fish like that, I’d be in good shape.  Id sell them and buy some clothes and something to eat.”

“I’ll give you that many fish if you do a small favor for me,” a fisherman replied.

“Sure.”

“Tend this line for me awhile.  I’ve got some errands to do up the street,” said the older man.

The young man gladly accepted the offer.  As he tended the man’s pole, the fish were really biting, and he reeled in one fish after another.  It wasn’t long before he was smiling, enjoying the activity.  When the older man returned, he said, “I was to give you the fish I promised.  Here, take all the fish you caught.  But I also want to give you a piece of advice.  The next time you’re n need, don’t waste time daydreaming and wishing for what could be.  Get busy, cast the line yourself, and make something happen.”

This is my first entry after losing my laptop due to irony.  As irony would have  it, my little brother happened to have a deal on standby.  Macbook Pro.  One step closer to being a fully converted, ugh!  Blackberry please don’t do me wrong.  Anyway, I’m back and motivated by a swift kick in the ass otherwise known as ‘Success:  One Day At A Time’ by John C. Maxwell.  This book could easily be completed within an hour.  I was told to read it everyday and although most people can’t carve out a ten minutes to read for leisure, I embark on this quest.

I am three weeks away from meeting my favourite author, Chris Guillebeau (Art of Non-conformity, $100 Startup) and I’m seriously lacking some je ne sais quoi… or, at least, I was.  This book along with a number of different factors have brought me to the conclusion that enjoying the ride is just as important as completing the task.  A huge tip of the hat goes to my friend, Simply Paul, for helping me understand this concept.

One Step Further

Do more than exist:  live.

Do more than touch:  feel

Do more than look:  observe.

Do more than read:  absorb.

Do more than hear:  listen.

Do more than listen:  understand.

Do more than think:  reflect.

Do more than just talk:  say something!

For the longest time, ‘Say something’ by that whiny, rap artist was my anthem.  It was meant in a different context, but help me to understand this quote.  When striving for excellence, in life and in love, or whatever your endeavour; there will be hiccups.  These potholes are not meant as deterrents, but rather to test your perseverance.  I have been tested since February and although I found myself slipping into the abyss, retrieving my footing has been the greatest joy.  I’m not sure if I’m articulating myself correctly, but it’s safe to say once you’ve chosen a path, let nothing veer you off course.

A man died and met Saint Peter at the gates of heaven.  Recognizing the saint’s knowledge and wisdom, he wanted to ask him a question.

“Saint Peter,” he said, “I have been interested in military history for may years.  Tell me, who was the greatest general of all times?”

Peter quickly responded,”O, that is a simple question, It’s that man right over there.”

The man looked where Peter was pointing and answered,

“You must be mistaken.  I knew that man on earth, and he was just a common labourer.”

“That’s right,” Peter remarked,”but he would have been the greatest general of all time – if he had been a general.”

~ Mark Twain

Enjoy the journey as much as the finish line.

Carpe Diem Que

Team Diesel: The Failure Manuscript

3 May

“So that’s it, one failure and it’s a rap.  Now you’re all grown up working at Barney’s…I just wanted us to actually do something for once, not just watch as it happens for all our friends” 

~ Victor Rasuk, How to Make It in America

There was a point when I didn’t believe I’d ever come around.  I took two months off my training due to a broken hand.  They say your mood changes when you routinely work out.  “They”, are absolutely right.  My first day back was excruciating and this Bruce Lee story is what helped me triumph.  To fail is normal, people fail everyday.  Failure is often the cornerstone to great achievement.  You fail hard, learn and move on.  It’s a process like when you were young and couldn’t complete something, once that task was toppled, you never understood how you couldn’t do it previous.

To give up, that is unsavory.  A failure is a small part of greater success.  To throw your towel in and walk away is the sign of cowardice.  He who doesn’t struggle, doesn’t live.  I once told one of my close senorita’s to take the plunge and ask this dude, her crush, out.  “There’s no reward without risk”.  You can sit there and regret or pull up your socks, strive ahead.

Team Diesel was invented to hold a small group of friends accountable to continue working out and eating healthy.  Once the training wheels came, we abandoned the name and continued doing the damn thang.  Prior to breaking my hand on some racist’s face, I was in rare form, experiencing what could be categorized as the best year in my life.  It was as if I stumbled and landed in a ditch that two months to dig out.  With all of this happening, I decided to re-institute Team Diesel and begin a triumphant sprint towards the finish line.

I worked my every muscle today at sunrise and propelled myself forward, fighting through aches, pains and queasiness.  This is the embodiment of Team Diesel, no fear, no excuses, just results.  This transcends the body, it applies to the mind.  In all aspects of your life strive to vanquish fear, refrain from excuses and reap the rewards of your hard work.

I’m thirty years old and have just enrolled in swimming lessons (I know, crazy right?!).  Boxing is on the horizon in the month ahead and hot yoga is finally going to work these joints out.  If you do anything this month, make it the month to crush something that you’ve always wanted to do, but shied away from.

Carpe Diem Que

Press Play

30 Apr

“Boy stop live down inna de past”

~ Beenie Man

You know that feeling of nostalgia that wisps over your being when recounting moments from the past?  It can be triggered by a conversation, a song, whatever.  I feel as if I’ve been in a state of perpetual rewind, constantly looking backwards rather than striding forward.  I read something recently about leaving the past where it lies and moving on.  The long and the short of it was that those memories are meant to lie.  They’re meant to be remembered, but not rekindled.  If you live in the past, you’ll miss out on the present.  I feel like this is a recurring theme in my work over the course of the last two months.

Maybe it’s that feeling when you’re caught between seasons and anxiously awaited the roll over.  I don’t know, but I do know that this shit has got to change now.  I have been walking around like a drone, much like the people I’ve spent the last two years separating myself from.  Have you ever felt like a shell of your former self?  The writing has been difficult and my mood, melancholy.

My friend continuously recounts our past, wishing that the choices we made were different.  Personally, I feel regrets are a disease and useless.  My problem isn’t that I wish I was there, but that I speak about it too much.  I might as well be wishing for it.  So, where does the problem stem from?  This has been an awkward question to answer, but I have found the solution.  My present is living up to my expectations.

I have all but forgot all the moves that got me to the dance.  The 80/20 principle.  Parkinson’s Law.  Act as if.  The absence of arguing.  These concepts and principles took three decades just to cultivate, forgetting them now is a disservice.  Hell, I can’t even remember what I used to write about prior to a ‘Gentleman’s Guide…”.

So, what now?  Well, it’s time to put the past to bed.

The best way to do this, is to write mindlessly about all the things flooding my thoughts.

1).  Women.  Ugh, I know, not a huge issue, but it has its place.  Watching one of my best mates experiencing such a happy union with his new boo does remind me of times past and how much fun I used to have.  I fear that I will forever live like George Clooney, dating forever and never committing.  Being “picky” is one thing, but I’m something entirely different.  I believe the ‘Gentleman’s Guide’ was not only a forum to help other dudes (…and it did serve it’s purpose in that respect), but it was also a module for me to vent.

2).  Training.  I broke my hand uncharacteristically on someone’s face about nine weeks back.  Up until that point, I was on point.  My training was going as planned and I was right in line to begin training for hot yoga and boxing.  A lapse in judgement set me back two months.  Chalk this up to learning from your mistakes and moving on.  I have called on the help of my boys and re-instituted ‘Team Diesel’, a program originally invented to push and promote healthy living between my boys and I.  This seems like a great time for it.

3).  Gnarly bacterial infection.  It wasn’t too long after I broke my hand that I experienced what could have been described as ’21 days later’ style bacterial infection on my face.  While I wasn’t spouting blood and running mindlessly to eat flesh, I was looking like an extra from Michael Jackson’s ‘Thriller’

4).  Hops, wheat and barley.  I’m a beer drinker, I could faithfully take a taste challenge blindfolded and name every beer on tap.  While I’m not a drunkard, I do tend to have the casual one or two after a day of work.  My realization that a casual one or two is no longer casual if it happens constantly jolted me.  I’m back on the ‘Hero Workout‘.  Six pints a week and no excuses.

5).  Love affair with candy.  Diabetes is a serious illness and runs in my family.  I love Popeye cigarettes, Runts and a package of Skittles as much as the next guy, but seriously 4 ibs. of sugar in a week is not helping matters.

I have some things to clean up before volleyball season.  The most important of which being my mind.  I have to search for that state of mind I had in August before moving back.  Dust my shoulders off, strap on my cleats and run to the finish line.  I have redirected the ‘Gentleman’s guide’ relationship blogs to ‘Sex and the Shitty‘.  It seems like the perfect outlet and I’d like to thank Elle for allowing me to write for her blog.  First post went up today, just a fyi.  Two blogs in one day, if that isn’t progress than I don’t know what is.

Have a great week y’all

Carpe Diem Que

Gentleman’s guide to ‘Think like a man’

24 Apr

“This is war gentleman…”

~ Jerry Ferrara

I took my friend, Robyn, to watch ‘Think like a man’ Sunday. This is the adaptation of comedian/actor/writer Steve Harvey’s novel, “Think like a man, act like a lady”. I came into contact with this book 2 years ago. I wrote it off as a joke, “what does this thick mustache, bright suit wearing old guy know about game?”

This woman I used to know read the book and lost all confidence in men. The morning jones, a sports podcast that doesn’t exist anymore said it was a “simp” move.

“Simp”. Simpleton or person of low regard.

Their argument is that you should never reveal the rules to the opponents. The film depicted this well and tied a nice little bow on top for the denouement. Let me clarify for anyone who is wondering and/or single, the battle of the sexes is real and… it’s war – Sun Tzi style.

Certain things are meant to be sacred and are accepted as part of the game. Make no mistake, it is, in fact a game. Tug-of-war. Titter totter. Cat chase mouse. Whatever. Dave Chappelle said, “chivalry is dead… and women killed it”. I don’t know how true that statement is, but I know the game has changed. I went out for lunch with two of my favourite women yesterday and we broke it down.

Rgoldman: that is not true. We still want gentleman, they just don’t exist anymore.

CDQ: I opened a door for a date recently and she looked at me like I was from Mars.

(Side note – opening the door for a date never gets old, just for future reference)

Chels: I’m independent and could definitely open it myself, but it’s still nice.

CDQ: Cool, then you two are unique. The game has changed and things are different. Women are lions. They love the thrill of the hunt, just like men. You’re always saying “no games, no games, no games”, but when the cards are laid out on the table, you recoil.

This is war and games are an absolute must. Allow me to qualify my statement here, games don’t necessarily mean leading a person on (although it can include that). Games can simply mean the flirting/novelty period of getting to know someone new. That simple concept was the incubus for ‘A gentleman’s guide to…”.

To date, my most frequently read blog is, “Gentleman’s guide to being a Hot Guy”. The readership spans from Spain to China to the republic of the Congo. This is universal and people are interested in relations and/or relationships.  Everyone trying to get a leg up on the competition.

Which brings me back to ‘think like a man”, a film and book that is designed to train or capture a man written by… a man??? It is a widely acknowledged, unwritten rule that men are not supposed to reveal what’s behind the curtain like the Wizard of Oz.  This can never be resolved and it is what it is.  ‘Think like a man’ was a good flick, but I don’t think the rules inside are meant to be followed to a tee.

I love comedians because they help to break down some aspects of life that people can’t entertain publicly.  Here is some of the best on the subject.

(Side note – look at the woman @ 33 sec. in the bottom right corner – the differences exemplified)

Carpe Diem Que

Gentleman’s Guide to Compromise

19 Apr

“Don’t sell yourself, to fall in love…with those things you do”

~ Slum Village, Fall in Love

Every time I try to leave, something keeps pulling me back.  These relationship pieces seem to be my bread and butter this year.  Today, compromise, the dreaded word for all independent people.  There’s many issues surrounding compromise.  Is compromise necessary for a relationship to blossom?  Why should someone compromise?  Shouldn’t we just be equal and accept our differences?  I’m from the mind that compromise is absolutely necessary for any relationship to progress.

I once missed my favourite hockey teams game in my hometown to help promote an ex-girlfriend’s fundraiser.  Now on the surface, this doesn’t seem like a huge sacrifice, but allow me to paint the picture.  I am a huge sports fan, as I write the words I don’t think they’re heavy enough to describe my love for sport.  This would have been my first hockey game.  My favourite team versus my most hated team.  Tickets were free and they were also a gift.  There’s a saying in poker,  if you could see all the cards laid out, would you repeat the same actions.  Win or lose.  The answer is absolutely yes, I would repeat the same action.

It all comes down to mentality, what is more important to you?  I know men who do too much and some that don’t do enough.  The truth of matter is that you’ll do just as much as you truly care.  Compromise isn’t a huge issue when you’re happy.  It becomes a hindrance when feelings are deteriorating or when the effort is one-sided.  No one wants to shoulder all the weight of anything (save praise – but that’s a whole other issue).  You compromise should be equal, that’s the equation.

If you are the dude constantly compromising for the betterment of the relationship and it’s not reciprocated – guess what?  She’s just not that into you!  Aha!  Yes, the saying holds true for men too.  It’s important that you compromise insofar as you you’ll receive it.

Now, just some general rules.  You have to pick your battles accordingly.  If something seems like it would create too much waves, learn to live without or talk it out.  Me, missing a fundraiser to promote children’s education in Africa to watch the Oilers thump the Toronto Maple Leafs could easily be construed as a dick move.  This is what I mean by “create too much waves”.  You want to be cognizant of what your date/girl/wife is likely to say.  Some things are better left avoided.

When NOT to compromise,

1)  When it goes against your core beliefs.  I am not a religious person.  I don’t believe in religious institutions.  I am not the ideal mate for anyone who is an avid church goer.  This is a message to heed, polar opposites may attract like Paula Abdul, but they don’t last long.

2)  When something is absolutely wrong.  I know people rave about being the bigger person and letting sleeping dogs lie.  I am not from that school of thought when it comes to matters that are clearly wrong.  If you find yourself in a disagreement about a moot point, but you know you’re right.  Discontinue the argument.  Let it breathe and discuss it in private with a cool head.  Don’t give in, just be wise about the way you approach it.

3) To make the other person happy and yourself miserable.

Compromise is a necessity in life, whether it be large or small. Some type of compromise has to take place. For myself, I try to limit the amount I have to compromise in life, but I’m not opposed to doing it. Have an agreeable personality and you’ll find most things easy to handle.

Carpe Diem Que

The Kiva Initiative – Loans that change people’s lives

16 Apr

“He who wished to secure the good of others, has already secured his own”

~  Confucius

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.  Be the change you want to see in the world.  Give yourself and you will receive your every dream.  All of these sayings are meant as a barometer toward achieving enlightenment.  I have taken it upon myself to topple task items #60 and #61.  I had hoped to do this firsthand, but that will happen in due time.  For now, I would like focus on Kiva.  Kiva is a great organization that allows people the opportunity to loan money to people in need around the world.  The funds are used mostly to start or continue building their own small business or maintaining their family life in time of crisis.

The word Samurai means to serve.  Not just ones own ambitions and dreams, but to do whatever possible to help others achieve theres.  I didn’t make Project Carpe Diem for myself, I constructed it as blueprint for my nieces and nephews.  It was intended to give more of myself and expand my reach.   I participate in Kiva because it’s the right thing to do and because I understand that I’m fortunate.  Knowing your fortunate isn’t enough, helping others is the next logical step.  I’ll give you a brief synopsis on how Kiva works and then post the video that illustrates the process.  Happy Monday ya’ll.

How Kiva Works

1)  Make a loan

2)  Get Updates

3)  Get paid back

4)  Repeat or Withdraw

Carpe Diem Que

Perception is Reality

12 Apr

“As a man thinketh, so is he”

~ James Allen

I read my friend Elle’s blog recently (http://elleswim.net/) and was surprised to find she was experiencing the same rut as myself. After discussing the reasons I believe we’re going through our respective lulls, I came to a realization. We are not in a rut, this plateau is actually a transformation process.

My fellow life listers know what I’m talking about when I say that I jam as much as possible into my day. I do this for two reasons: I want to accomplish all of my goals within my timeline and because I don’t want any wasted moments in my life. Robin Williams described it best in ‘Dead Poet’s Society’, “sucking the marrow out of life doesn’t mean choking on the bone”. This simply means that you have to slow things down and enjoy the journey.

I guaranteed myself that I would topple more than the year previous. My intentions are no longer good enough, it’s all about jumping headlong and figuring things out after. When you “do”, it doesn’t leave time to for fear to slink into the equation.

What this means to me? I’m naturally a thinker, I deduce and ponder prior to making moves. Sometimes I’m right, sometimes I’m wrong, but this method isn’t ideal for a person of my elk. I made a conscious effort to dive fully into my projects this year. This has added focus into my life. Dive. Fail. Learn. Master. Repeat.

What this means to you? You have the power to achieve anything you put your mind towards. Cliche, I know. I mean it though, heed my words. It’s important to fully visualize yourself succeeding at whatever you set out to accomplish, void of fear. My initial quote, “as a man thinketh, then so is he” is factual. Perception is reality. Perceive yourself as a failure and you will be. The reverse to that is true, think of yourself as a success and you are.

Be the change that you want to affect.

Believe you’re the person that wish to be.

There is no reward, without risk.

Carpe Diem Que

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