To all the women with the flaws, know it’s hard my darling
You wonder why you’re lonely and your man’s not calling
You keep falling victim cause you’re insecure
And when I tell you that you’re beautiful you can’t be sure
Cause he don’t seem to want you back and it got you asking
So all you see is what you lacking, not what you packing~ J.Cole, Crooked Smile
It’s been years since I have bought an album and in one day, I’ve bought two. Through my travels/listening session en route to get my haircut I focus on this song. The second single from one of my favourite new artists. I’m in a space right now where I’m looking at myself and really diving into what’s important to me going forward. The book of choice this week, The Four Agreements, a book highly recommended and it’s interesting. The first chapter delves into our agreements or in layman’s terms, the beliefs that we hold to be true. Note: I will be expounding this novel next, so I’m not going to get to in-depth. Basically the things the things we hold to be true aren’t necessarily all that important.

Crooked Smile
I see all these people making themselves up to be something they’re not in hopes of not sticking out. This doesn’t just apply to women either, men are by and large, huge proponents of putting on a face. There this saying about money…
“And they say money change you, but money don’t change you. It just makes you more of what you already are.” ~ Little Brother
Why? That is the question. What is our infatuation with being accepted? Is being yourself so frowned upon that being a clown is the new human? Its like when people fear to ask a question for fear of being rejected and you can lump me into that category sometimes. A wise man once told me that you lose nothing by asking the question. If the person disagrees with you, at least you made the effort. The adverse of that is they may actually be interested in what you’re offering. Either way, you lose nothing. For our purposes, if someone is not feeling you because you’re being yourself, they can kick rocks. Not worth the time, nor the effort because you’ll have to continuously keep up the facade.
I remember growing my hair on two separate occasions because an inconsiderate person made light of my odd-shaped head. As an adult I realize the fault was on me for letting that person have that amount of power over me. If I had been more self-confident then, I would dust the dirt off my shoulder and pressed on. That’s my issue, not the person who made the remark. As a bartender I see many people place their best disguises on to charm the opposite sex. It may work, but in the end, you’ll be found out as a fraud and it will ruin whatever illusion you’ve created.
Now back to your crooked smile, beautiful in its uniqueness. Crooked smile is metaphor for any insecurity you think is more important than it really is. Whether it’s a lumpy head, a crooked smile, a frumpy body, modest breasts, big lips or whatever, you have two choices;
1) Live with what you have and build the confidence within yourself to know you’re beautiful.
2) Do something to fix it (naturally)! Surgery or pills aren’t the key, that’s a different side of the same coin. It’s still a disguise, mask and facade.
The other aspect of it is that we build things up in our psyches much larger than they truly are. Once again, the cure is in self-confidence. Take it from this guy who writes about my insecurities and speaks freely about the way I feel through this medium. Be yourself and let me see your bright, beautiful jibs.
Carpe Diem Que









25,550 Days
17 Jun“Life is what happens when you’re making other plans” ~ Unknown
Tick, tock, tick, tock, you’re on the clock. Your life is passing you by, while you plan and plan, life is happening and you’re missing it. I never put it into this context, but a friend brought it to my attention.
“Since you’ve been planning for all this stuff to come… your life has been happening…. and life is good! ; )” ~ Melissa
Life is good. I’m happier than I have been in a long time. How many times have you sat there dissuaded by failures? Failures that are intended to help you grow. I’ve been spending a number of my days running to a destination and in the process, days just continuously pass. Now here’s a bugged out thought. If you were to figure the average person lives to age seventy, that’s seven decades, but in terms of days, that’s Twenty-five thousand, five hundred fifty days, you’d do well to gain some perspective. I don’t know about you, but to me, that’s just a blink of the eye. Can you really afford to be wasting that precious countdown by distressing and always planning?
This life
It’s like those people who are ultra healthy and miss out on the small joys. I love being healthy, but you’re daft if you think I’m passing up a pint or cherry blasters. Everything in moderation and nothing left out. You preserve your youth when you take time to breathe. Out of those 25 550 days, I have a little more than half remaining, whatever higher power willing. I have got my goals for the summer, which seems like it’s almost over…and it just started. With these goals in mind, I remember,
“A goal is not always meant to be reached. It often serves simply as something to aim at.” – Bruce Lee
An eloquent belief from one of the hardest working men of our time. You strive to achieve because that’s what motivates you. The target is set and how close you arrive is your benchmark to be better.
“I wanna be somebody, somebody that’s never been. No squares in my circle, best shape I ever been.” ~ Fabolous
When you feel down, like things aren’t going your way, that’s the time you recalibrate. For myself, I read incessantly, feeding my brain with the knowledge of people who came before me. I held off on writing this particular piece because I felt it had to be special, something abstract. What I realized? Is that my inertia was becoming laziness which is a trait I work tirelessly to abolish. I think of the greats, the artists I hold to a high standard. They all go through this process, that block that seems immovable, when in actuality you’re the person who has placed the object in your path. Its like when Arizona Robbins had phantom leg after losing her appendage (yes, I watch Grey’s Anatomy – sue me). You and only you are the cause for your problem because you contain the solution, so nothing in this environment should be block your moxie.
Carpe Diem Que