“And though it is much to be a nobleman, it is more to be a gentleman” ~ Anthony Trollope
It’s been a long time, I shouldn’t have left you, without a quick post to read through. Yes, I know, I was on a prolonged hiatus. I have no explanation for you, other than the fact that things are picking up as my departure date draws near. I began working on items #44 and #4, tough work. I’m back in the gym, in preparation for Barcelona and Nice and I’m preparing my speech for Best Man duties in September. I’m extremely stoked and honoured about this promotion.
Well folks, there will be a lot of changes moving forward with the blog. I’m looking at a facelift, tummy tuck and extreme neurological shockwaves, in other words, I’m changing the look, tabs and topics. This article fell on my lap last weekend and it couldn’t be denied, I had to post it. It comes courtesy of a lad named Max Andrew Dubinsky (@maxdubinsky), the article is phenomenal and his blog is much better. Check it out http://makeitmad.com. With that said, here’s the article and I left some bonus material at the end.
The world is a hard place to survive. Falling in love. Broken hearts. Standing up for what you believe. Arachnids and an entire week dedicated to sharks. Earthquakes and economic meltdowns. Nine dollar beer nights at your favorite pub, and fashion statements that should have died years ago returning from the grave. It’s not easy to be alive through all this, let alone survive it as a gentleman. We must remain intact and stand out amongst the rest. No matter how difficult it gets out there. And the best part is, you can still look cool while doing it.
Now that you have the essential tools for surviving the 21st Century as a gentleman, it’s time to be cool.
Call her the next day. The “wait three days rule” will always be cool to break.
Rules that are not cool to break: Never date your friend’s ex, never date your ex’s friend, never date your ex’s roommate, no cutting in line, no cutting a “line” in the bathroom, keep a napkin on your lap while dining, and it’s still not okay to go in a woman’s purse.
LOL is not only NOT okay, it’s never cool.
Your socks should be as colorful as your wardrobe. Don’t be afraid of plaid, argyle, or stripes beneath your jeans or black slacks.
A gentleman never publicly worries, complains, or comments about money. A gentleman who is cool never hesitates to pick up a tab or loan to a friend in need. Remember, if you’re making more than 2 dollars a day, you’re considered in the top 3% of the richest people on the planet. Would you like some perspective with your coffee this morning?
At a business lunch, give your credit card to the waiter before you’re seated. This ends the debate when the meal is finished before it even starts.
Make eye contact with a woman. Then buy her a drink before going on your way, and leave it at that. The transaction is over, and she’ll be left thinking about you the rest of the night.
Buy a cup of coffee for the person in line behind you. Displaying your masculinity at the bar or club or Sunday morning church service like a lion stalking a wounded herd of scattered sheep is never cool. This representation of the circle of life in the animal kingdom always ends in a bloody massacre, so take note: stay cool, calm, and collected when she walks into the room. Eye contact with a smile from across the way is often your green light to casually approach the situation, and make your introduction.
You are not your job or how you pay the bills. Upon introductions, ask someone what it is they “do,” really do with their life, and not how they put food on the table. Not only can this question change a person’s entire day, it will also tell you more about them than any question regarding their salary.
The cooler you are, the less of your phone I should see. This is not a green light for your wireless earpiece to be worn at all times. If your hands are not at 10 and 2 on a steering wheel while you’re closing a million dollar deal in Japan, then take it out, jerk. You’re not as cool as you think you are.
Don’t be afraid to make decisions, even if you’re not the authoritative type. Call the shot. Whether or not your gun is loaded, pull the trigger.
Stay cool by being creative on dates. Anything is better than going for drinks. Take her for a balloon ride, a hike, or bowling and forget to keep score. Play cards in the park, or even steal street signs if she’s the mischievous type.
Never lose your cool. This is very un-cool. Throwing up is never cool unless you’re with the band.
Facebook is a public place. Stay cool by staying mysterious. Lose the inside jokes and status updates every 30 minutes. No one cares about what you are eating, where you are going, how cute that little dog was hanging out the window, how you take your coffee, or what you are wearing.
And that picture from college of you with a funnel, standing on a keg, and your best friend, Pete, licking your face…untag yourself, brother.
Make your yes’s mean yes, and your no’s mean no.
Always speak with confidence no matter the subject matter.
Hang out with people cooler than you. This makes you cool by association.
Lose the baggy clothes unless you make millions performing gangster rap.
Popped collars are not cool. They were never cool. Unless you’re Dracula or an Elvis Impersonator, keep ‘em down. This look only works with your winter jacket. All other occasions: unacceptable.
Ask her out. It’s that simple. She’s been waiting for you to do it, I promise. There’s nothing cooler, or sexier, than a man who has the confidence to walk across the room and ask out a woman. And if she says no? Treat her exactly the same way you did thirty seconds ago before asking. Surprise. Your world didn’t stop and implode. The exhilaration of taking this risk is hard to top, no matter the results.
Disclaimer: This is NOT permission to go asking out every woman in a thirty-mile radius like the world is going to end tomorrow. Very un-cool.
Am I cool? I own five shirts and one pair of boots, and wear the same jeans six days a week. My hair is too thick and I can’t grow enough facial hair to look rugged. I sometimes talk too much instead of listening too well, and I don’t have a six-pack. You’re damn right I am cool. Because it’s not about the way you look or the sound of your voice or your job, it’s your state of mind. It’s confidence in the man God created you to be.
So be cool.
Bonus: The word “swagger” and its connotation is corny.
When you say, “I’m a grown ass man”, it only proves you are not. Real gentleman live by their convictions and it’s understood that they are men.
“Irregardless” and “conversate” are not words, please refrain from using them.
Swearing obnoxiously is the opposite of being a gentleman. It only shows your lack of the english language. Step your dictionary game up.
CDQue
10 ways to live The Simple Life
28 Jun“It is not daily increase but daily decrease; hack away the unessential” ~ Bruce Lee
I would first like to thank all of my new readers for dropping by over the week. I owe it all to Elle (@Elleswim) and her interview/article about my journey (http://elleswim.net/2011/06/26/an-interview-with-marque-of-project-carpe-diem/). My new readers have given me much to consider by viewing their amazing work. Thank you.
I remember laughing at Baby, my best mate, when I skimmed through his dvd collection and saw ‘the Simple Life’. That show depicted the height of stupidity, but from it’s roots grows this blog. I’m a simple man by all accounts, I live frugal and I enjoy the world’s smallest delights like tea and wine. There was a point in my life where I wanted it all, the large home, two cars, flat screens in every room and a specialty bathroom tailored to fit my imagination. These things were to be the barometer of my success. My clothing would portray status and my cars would portray wealth. I sounded like a pompous prick, but somehow, I don’t think those thoughts are unique to me.
Many people believe that amassing more will in turn depict success. The MTV Cribs lifestyle, right? Well, I see that lifestyle and decline its fruits. The fruit I bear shall be grown and shared with everyone. The simple life. This list is one man’s way of obtaining minimalism.
1) If you find yourself hypnotized by the television, detach. Make it a clean break. I know, I know, the Bachelor is giving out his roses, Snookie is searching for that all elusive “gorilla juicehead” and House is miraculously doing the same thing he does every week. With all those temptations and variables, still, detach! You’ll feel a whole lot better for it.
2) I received a leather jacket for Christmas in my 18th year. I found the same leather jacket in my closet a couple months ago, 11 years later. Why? I haven’t worn it in almost 7 years.
Clean out the clutter. If you have clothing or junk in your house that you haven’t worn or used for more than 1 yr; get rid of it! Have a yard sale. Donate it to charity. Throw it out. They may hold sentimental value, but those memories will always be there and if you’re afraid they’ll leave. Write them down.
3) Define what makes you happy. Truly happy. The thing that makes you smile uncontrollably even when you try to stop. For me, it was easy, my friends and family give me immense pleasure.
Once you’ve defined your happiness, fill your life with it. Allow others to share it with you.
4) Give back! This altruistic principle is ridiculously simple, yet, most people are too self involved to consider it. My mate, Mcginny is a big brother. I don’t know what his reasons were for becoming one, but I’m proud of him for his commitment to helping shape someone’s life. It could be anything, volunteer at a nursing home, donate to Kiva or start your own charity for a worthy cause. No one has to know and those who would ridicule you(unfortunately, negative people are everywhere), ignore them.
5) Filter out information diarrhea. Personally, I don’t watch, read or discuss the news anymore. It’s a principle I adopted from Timothy Ferriss (@tferriss). His belief is that news happens, if something is important enough, you’ll hear about it.
This principle is completely true, I enjoy myself much more when I’m not worrying about the ills of the world. In due time, I’ll have my opportunity to contribute for the better.
6) Hobbies. Get one, two or ten. I love films and I regularly view one by myself. What do you enjoy? Comics? Gardening? Cooking? Exercising? Films? Reading? Sports? Indulge in something healthy and you’ll find yourself personally enriched.
7) Delete the debt. If it’s possible, don’t let Uncle Sam or Uncle Harper hold you under their thumb. These chains of bondage are heavy. Unfortunately, today’s North American society doesn’t look fondly upon people who live within their means. Pay them no mind and continue to sleep well without the weighted debt blanket.
8) Leave space around things in your day. Whether they’re appointments, or things you need to do, don’t stack them back-to-back. Leave a little space between things you need to do, so you will have room for contingencies, and you’ll go through your day much more relaxed.
9) Learn to do nothing. Doing nothing can be an art form, and it should be a part of every life.
10) Find inner simplicity. I’m not much of a spiritual person, but I have found that spending a little time with my inner self creates a peaceful simplicity rather than a chaotic confusion. This could be time for praying or communing with God, or time spent meditating or journaling or getting to know yourself, or time spent in nature. However you do it, working on your inner self is worth the time.
CDQue