Gentlemen’s guide to being a Hot Guy – Part Deux

“Be better than the Gap”  ~ Ryan Gosling, Crazy, Stupid Love

Class.  It’s an elegant word.  Remember all those times when people told you nice guys finish last and jerks prevail.  One, they lied and two, class is in session.  Pun completely intended.  There’s a saying in foot ball circles, form is temporary and class is permanent.  This mantra holds true in relations as well.  I saw this picture last week and it reminded me of who I am and the epitome of what most of you believe or strive to become.

The word swag is juvenile and akin to minors.  Being a jerk is also juvenile and akin to children.  So, since I’ve categorized them both as adolescent, it only goes to show you that these behaviours work for kids.  Swag is like those words that people invent to describe something that could be best described by a word that already exists.  Class is timeless.  No tweaking.  No alterations.  Men have class.  Boys are jerks.

Now don’t get me wrong, gentlemen can be unaccommodating, but the difference is they’ll admit the err of their ways (or at least they should).  I have come to a realization that most men exude a certain aura, nothing mystical, but it’s a presence.  This is something the aforementioned jerk cannot maintain.  Your goal, gentlemen, is to distinguish yourselves from your counterparts.

In the first installment of this GG to being a Hot Guy, I mentioned a lot of physical attributes.  This time around I enlisted some help from my female friends and also some insights I’ve learned.  Okay, where to begin.

You got the vocab?  The power to utilize diction is a talent that should not be overlooked.  Have a love affair with words.  I’m not telling you to memorize the word of the day on  Most people who do that usually use the word out of context anyway.  What I’m saying is – read.  Read a book or anything for that matter, rather than watch a movie or the boob tube.  You’d be surprised how much you’ll learn from reading a mere five novels.  At the conclusion of my valedictorian speech I said “knowledge is power”.  Get out there and expand yours, the information is available.

Just a fyi, women tend to find men who read sexy.  Just a selling point.

“I got a dream that’s worth more than my reality and pride that’s worth more than a salary”.  Passion, for  your dreams comes with a great many benefits.

  • Your passion is contagious, people are attracted to it.  Law of attraction states that “like attracts like”.  That being said, if someone even has an inkling of a spark, you may be the catalyst that releases their light.  Oh, Mr. Sunshine.
  • Ambition is something that women gravitate to.  Your drive will only go to help you with your life and in turn spill into your romantic life
  • You know how they say smiling releases an enzyme in your brain that promotes happiness?  Well, if you hadn’t, now you know.  Passion has a similar effect, your drive to complete a task will make you happy.

“Get suited up!”  I walk a fine line when it comes to style.  I don’t like to waste my money on clothing for various reasons, but mostly because I shrink them and styles change like seasons.  With that being said, the way you dress is paramount.  You remember that video I posted in episode one with Nate asking women what they found attractive?  I touched on the importance of having an overall great body and not honing in on only biceps, chest and abs.  Those things are all great, but the way your clothes fit you is a direct correlation of your body type (painfully obvious, I know).

Your shoulders are the framework for how a shirt hugs your body, much the same way a shirt drapes over a hanger.  You want to buy clothing that fits you and extenuates your frame.  You also want to look for something that shows your personality.  My buddy told his girlfriend yesterday how poor my fashion sense was, it wasn’t just poor, it was confused.  I had no idea what I was going for and my clothes were oversized.  Swag!  I’m glad I grew out of that phase and learned to dress to my personality.  I wear clothing that displays my personality, creativity and class.

You can do many things when choosing how to dress to your strengths.  You can run with stereotypes, rocker, skater, preppy, etcetera or you can fashion your style after someone you admire.  I have two friends who dress exceptionally well.  I follow their lead as it pertains to my personality.  General rule of thumb, if poorly dressed people call you “gay” in reference to your clothes, you’re doing something right.  The ape brain tends to ridicule what it cannot understand.

Resolve and Assertiveness.  This marks the difference between a boy and a man.  When you say something, mean it!  When you make a decision, stand by it.  There’s nothing worse than telling a woman you’re going to be at her spot for a certain time and you show up late.  In my book, “the latest I can be is on time” (Big K.R.I.T) and even that took me some time to understand.  Valuing a person’s time is an important quality.

“No, thank you.  That’s not something I’m interested in” is radically different from “Maybe, I’m not sure”.  Assertion makes a man, a man.  Be proactive.  Make your decision and live with it.  If it’s wrong, don’t beat yourself up because you made the decision with the information you had available.  Learn from your faults, accept your error and move on.  We all learn in failure.

007.  The great caricature of the gentleman who holds his past close to his chest.  His reasons are due to the fact that they could affect his missions.  Your reason is because being completely forthcoming all at once, scares women and doesn’t leave much of a cliffhanger.  Do you remember that episode of Seinfeld when George would leave the room after telling a joke?  This is the same thing.  You want to entice without frothing from the mouth.  Choose your words carefully and be selective in your reads.

As a former poker player, I have become good at sizing people and situations up.  In the game of life, you don’t want to be left behind.  Make moves to be ahead of the curve, this is chess, not checkers.

To be continued…

Carpe Diem Que